One of the biggest reasons it can take longer than necessary to recover from a crisis, especially one that involves a negative situation in relationships is words.

Yes – words.
Remember – your words predict your future. In a time of crisis this is just as true as in any other time – perhaps even more true.

In what way do your words predict your future in a time of crisis? Words can magnify or reduce the intensity of emotions that arise when difficult things happen.

When emotions are high wrong decisions are usually made.

When emotions are under control, it is easier to think clearly and make right decisions.

Have you ever been in a situation where the more you try to discuss the issue, the worse it gets?

There are at least two reasons for this:

1. Neither of you (or none of you) really has the answer, so all you are doing is rehashing the situation. You are simply trying to work out why things happened the way they did.
2. Instead of looking for a solution you are looking for who or what to blame, or you just airing your hurt. There is a time for this of course but with the right people.

The healthiest thing to do is to stop – take a deep breath and focus on considering some possible solutions.

There are some things we cannot change. What happened, happened.

We cannot go back – we can only go forward.

It takes discipline to think this way – but this thought process will defuse the emotions quicker and bring you to victory.

Another trap that will always magnify any situation is to talk it over with people who have no way of really understanding. These people would be incapable of helping you solve anything. So all that is happening is gossip – trash talk (as Dr Mike Murdock calls it).

So never talk about a crisis with someone who is incapable of helping you solve it!

Don’t forget: your thoughts are words also, so it is very important that you do not spend too much time going over the event in your mind.

Of course it may be necessary to “think it through” but the healthy way to do this is to:

• Think over options and solutions.
• Look at what you can learn from this occurrence.
• Look for ways that it can make you a stronger, better person.

So how can you turn down the crisis volume? With words.

Choose to discipline your mind and your mouth to think and speak solutions and positive words that build. This will turn down the emotional volume of a crisis and you will reach victory.

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