Yes, on November 9th, 1989 the borders between the West and East sides of Germany were opened and then Berlin Wall began to be dismantled in the days that followed.

If you are a Baby Boomer, I am sure that you remember this day quite vividly. It was a great triumph for Germany and for all of the families involved. The division between them was being pulled down.

When I checked the news this morning and found that today is a significant anniversary for the world a question came to my mind:

We all put up barriers across the years as we go through different experiences in life. But borders are not always good.

Healthy Boundaries
You and I need to have healthy boundaries. After all your life was not designed to be Grand Central Station.

You have your own life purpose and your dreams and this is your first priority. Of course your immediate family will fit into your life purpose in different ways.

You have your own responsibilities and consequently your daily life is filled with priorities. In order to fulfill those responsibilities you need to set boundaries so that you can focus on your priorities.

Your real friends will respect those boundaries. In fact they too will have their own boundaries as they lead their lives which will also be driven by their WHYs (their life passions and dreams). Then the time you can spend with these friends will be so much more valuable and enriched.

Unhealthy Boundaries
The unhealthy boundaries and borders are the ones that need to come down. These are those barriers that you may have put up because of old hurts in your life.

These barriers are shutting out the wrong people in your life and will cause problems in your present relationships.

Here is a challenge for you today.
Take a few minutes to reflect on your life. Ask yourself the following two questions:

1. Do I have the right boundaries set in my life?

   If not, make a decision to set them in place.

2. Do I have the wrong borders built up in my life?

   If you do, make a decision to tear them down. The first step to being able to tear the wrong borders down is to forgive.

   Forgiveness is a decision. You decide to forgive and release the other person or people from your life.

When you have the right boundaries set and have torn down the wrong borders, you will experience so much more freedom in your life.

Photo Credit

This is definitely one area where so many people in this world are trapped into negative emotional attachments. I use the word “trapped” rather lightly because in actual fact you are only “trapped” if you want to be.

So many folk who are involved in negative relationships use their situation as an excuse for not “being able” to achieve their dreams. This is the blame game!

Once you and I really come to understand and accept this truth of responsibility we now have to choose:

1. Stay in the “trapped” relationship or situation.
2. Take steps to cut all unhealthy ties (how you would do this will depend on the relationship – family or friends).

Friends:

• Take a look at the last 5 phone calls that are listed on your cell phone that you either made or received.
• Was the conversation with each of these folk constructive or destructive?
• Did you finish the conversation feeling challenged, motivated and encouraged? Or did you complete the conversation feeling angry, frustrated and depressed?
• If you answer yes to the second option (angry, frustrated or depressed), hit the delete button on their name in your contact list!

Family:
Do you have or more family members who leave you angry, frustrated or depressed after a conversation with them? How can you deal with this? Here are some tips:

• Take time to sit down with this family member face to face and explain that you have made a decision to develop yourself to become the champion you were born to be.
• Gently yet firmly let them know that you have come to understand and accept that YOU are responsible for your dreams and goals in life. You have decided to take action and pursue your life dreams.
• Gently tell them that you love them but you cannot allow them to shower a host of negative words on you.
• Firmly yet gently warn them that if they attempt to corner you with the intention of powering out a host of negative words, you will hang up or walk away.

One of the things that I hear quite often is:
I tried this, but my (mother, brother, uncle etc) does not understand. They may not “understand” at first simply because they don’t believe you. However they WILL believe you once you take action.

Take action today and remove yourself from the influence of negative emotional attachments and you will discover you are freer to pursue your life’s dreams.

This is the third article in a series: “Are You Free To Follow Your Dreams”.

• Are You Free To Follow Your Dreams?
• Lack of Vision Will Hinder Your Dreams
• Negative Emotional Attachments Will Suffocate Your Dreams

Equally true is the following:
Your outer world develops (or attacks) your inner world. This development will be positive or negative – that depends on YOU.

The reality is that every part of our being is intertwined.

Remember the verse in the Bible in Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

You are I are not created in isolated parts. Every part of our being affects the other.

This brings up a great question for today:

Remember, your outer world greatly influences your inner world. But does this mean that you are at the mercy of your outer world? No! No! No!

No – a thousand times no! There is NO excuse for not reaching your destiny. Your destiny is guaranteed to be a GOOD one, IF you choose to pursue it. (Read Jeremiah 29:11).

You make decisions every day to either allow the attacks from outer world to influence your mind and heart, or you are quick to defend and protect yourself.

Because of your daily habits of immersing yourself with strong positive words and teachings. The truth is that YOU have a responsibility to choose what influences you will surround yourself with.

You choose what you will allow to enter into your inner life.
You choose what will develop your inner world.

Your inner world is influenced by:

• Everything that you listen to, good or bad or a mixture of both.
• Everything that you watch. That means those TV programs that you watch are not as just harmless entertainment. No, they will influence your mind and your heart.
• Everyone that you associate with.

• If your friends are highly educated, you will be challenged to go higher too.
• If your friends are committed Christians, you will be challenged to be more committed to Christ too.
• If your friends are wealthy, you will learn from them and follow their example. You have a great chance of becoming wealthy too.
• If your friends are content to stay uneducated and poor, you will adapt to their environment and mental outlook also.
• If you friends are negative and spend their time criticizing and complaining, your faith will weaken and you will soon find yourself agreeing with them.

It is totally impossible to play around with negative influences and associate with negative people and expect your mind and heart to stay positive.

James 1:8 in the Bible declares “a double minded man is unstable in all of his ways”.

Is your life as stable as you would like it to be? If not, then ask yourself this question.

What areas of my outer life are contaminating my inner life and destroying my dream?

Photo Credits Poodle in peril on flickr